misconception.

today the fan feels like
the heavy thumpthump of a bass
in my marrow
and i am only disappointed to see
that it cannot reorganize my
eyelashes
into the shapes of Forever
or Always
or even Never.

now the chain clinks lightly
against lightbulbs
and i am light-headed.

i am in a pattern
of glass and brambles
and i find that i cannot fall asleep
until i have made myself sick
to my heart
because water should not drip
from my eyes
for such a broken cause.

remembering, your multiplication tables
are broken and deformed
like my lungs
because you think there are three of us
when there are only two
and i wonder how afraid you are
that there could be many more?
Infinity is terrifying
i should know.
don't worry though
i can put your math together again
it doesn't even need to sit
on a wall
for me to try.

but i want to write you 99 letters
explaining how much i Love you.